“A philosopher can’t think on an empty stomach.” -- Socrates (probably)

Above all electric grills are a scam, they can only ruin meat.

They can’t get hot enough, if they did they’d generate smoke.

Every piece of meat, you cooked in an electric grill was ruined.

Now, there is no such thing, as a gas BBQ, that is called an oven.

It is an outdoor oven, not a BBQ, sorry, but I am not sorry.

A BBQ grill uses charcoal, basically largely smokeless wood.

It is great for steak and hamburgers.

Mmmmmaybe a hot-dog, but hot-dogs should really be boiled.

Hot dogs are really complex, and demand either spicy jalapenos or sweet fried onions.

Now Ladies and germtermen, prepare to be shocked.

Maybe grab on to your fat butts, because: you do not BBQ a sausage.

That is right, just like electric grills spoil mean.

The noble old charcoal BBQ, will spoil a sausage.

A sausage demands adventure, not necessarily hiking…

But certainly a small secluded area, a good chunk of a mile…

Away from power outlets and TV, and sidewalks and chattering chatter-bugs.

A tiny wilderness, where everything is carried by hand is best.

Be sue to bring thick mosquitoes sticks, and proper spray repellent.

You should bring ketchup and mustard, salt and pepper, which are for the side potato.

If you feel like it, bring some cheese, Gouda maybe…

That you can wrap around an almost done sausage, and secure with plain sewing thread, to gill the cheese a bit.

You will need a long stick, almost a fishing pole.

And a Y shaped rest for the stick, where you can balance the sausage assembly.

To start the fire, build a ring, or rock or sand, and start with stick as tiny as your matches.

Light them up, and add bigger sticks, and bigger and bigger.

You must make cuts in your sausage, so that the fire can drink the inside.

And it must be well done, but not crispy.

Your potato should be wrapped in foil and you have to keep an eye on it.

As it can quickly torn to charcoal, you won’t need butter, the sausage will do.

For an extra added taste, camp by a lake or ocean.

And please, learn from my mistake, and close your eyes as you sprinkle your pepper.

A nice long swim before dinner, will make the sausage even more delicious.

Ladies and germtermen, none of this is a joke, or exaggeration.

Sausage is a different kind of meat, it demands, adventure.

A stick of indeterminate tree species, and once cooked a suspiciously loud squirt of ketchup.

It demands an open fire and dancing embers, under an open sky.

I repeat, sausage demands adventure.