The following text was neither written by a Raccoon nor a Raccoon-kin, and aims to show you that Raccoons are very intelligent and clean.

It should be illegal to call Raccoons trash pandas and such, that only shows a person that is out of touch.

Why are people mean, raccoons are extremely clean!

They frequently wash them sleeves and even others too, and if you befriend one they’ll try to wash you.

They are very clean and cheerful little bears, who just enjoy taking-care of all their cheerful affairs.

They love interesting adventures and keepsakes, and their favorite foods are cakes and cup cakes.

Raccoons don’t actually eat trash at all, it is just that examining everything is the Raccoon protocol.

See, When you drop an Em&Em, it is like… “Ermagerd, I ain’t putting this in my pie hole, no more.”

But for a Raccoon.., a dropped Em&Em, is like a precious little gem.

But you should be careful to lock your trash, and keep it in something they can’t tear or smash.

Chocolate and human food is no good for little creatures, that is something you should discuss in school with teachers.

Now before we finish, let me just say, something very Raccoony today.

Because Raccoon are smart, wise and far seeing. deep down they are a very spiritual animal being.

Thus, many people with a tummy and some girth, actually had a Raccoon as their spirit animal, from birth.

I encourage all to get in touch with their inner creature, and check if perhaps a cheerful Raccoon does not feature.

And is so, know that it means you are blessed, and should try to do things that are of Raccoon interest.

Meandering, sneaking, causing double the trouble, and going on adventures as not to sit too long in your bubble.

If you got to this part with a grin, then it surely means you are guaranteed to also be a Raccoon-kin.

Don’t worry, this is a really big win, as it means a great adventure is about to begin.

You must now search for your spiritual Raccoon twin, start at the Appalachian Trail, and please, feast!, at every inn.